Episode 20 - Publicizing Your Problems
Meredith is deviating from the Gottman research in this episode and discusses her notice of publicizing your problems by complaining about partners on a public forum. She tells how sometimes she sees people posting things that are sort of a “dig” at them, not the mutual funny ones, but actual mean ones.
She admits that it does bother her and that it really can cause emotional withdrawal in the partner’s bank account. The partner, even if they do not see it, can still feel that criticism coming from the partner posting these things.
She shares that if she does need to process with particular friends about a marriage complaint, she tries to make sure Jake does know what she is frustrated about first and she doesn’t hide anything from him. She has learned to be intentional on how she does this because she has learned from experience.
You want to showcase your partner with kindness, no double-standard, not necessarily perfection, but there are opportunities you take to post something that is bragging on your partner. Allll about emotional bank deposits! Hold yourself accountable as to how you talk about and present your partner in public.
As always, we are at www.harmonytherapygroup.com/betterwifebetterlife and you can find us on Facebook or Instagram @HarmonyTherapyGroup and on Twitter @HTGTherapist. Thanks so much for listening and we look forward to you guys next week.
Listen to the episode here!
Help in the meantime:
YouTube channel BWBL playlist
Gottman Institute Blog