Episode 19 - Repair Attempts
In this episode, Meredith is continuing on with building a foundation of healthy communication skills within a relationship. Repair attempts have to do with managing conflict well. She reminds us that all happy and healthy couples fight, argue, and have conflict! Although, the difference maker is how they manage the conflict and allow them to repair quickly.
Meredith discusses a story of her and Jake utilizing a repair attempt. She admits she had been engaging in some stonewalling because of her anger. Jake tried to approach the conflict with the humor of messing with her. It was his version of a repair attempt. She tells how it was a good one because it led her to laugh and really get over the conflict and harbored anger.
Once again - it wasn’t always perfect for them! Keep trying!
She details that some things she notices with relationships is the blaming that goes on toward one another. Everyone at times feels this way, no doubt. But, it will not help your relationship.
Do you want to be right or effective?
Your relationship is more important than the conflict arising. Meredith gives some detail of the Gottman research of repair attempts and how the attempt will be met with more openness if you are consistently trying to connect with your partner and build that emotional bank account. Couples can be making pretty good repair attempts, but if there is no emotional bank account, it won’t work.
Her advice goes into learning your partner’s love languages and just understanding them in order to build up those emotional deposits in order to further the repair attempts you do practice.
As always, we are at www.harmonytherapygroup.com/betterwifebetterlife and you can find us on Facebook or Instagram @HarmonyTherapyGroup and on Twitter @HTGTherapist. Thanks so much for listening and we look forward to you guys next week.
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