Soft start-up

Episode 18 - The Soft Start-Up

Soft Start-up: What is this skill?

In the following episode, Meredith discusses the skill called a soft start-up. This skill helps in times of conflict. As we all can assume, conflict is inevitable and we want to be prepared or strategic when approached with a conflict. With a soft start-up, it is something that can help one set the tone for the conflict that will likely produce a more positive resolution whether it be for each partner or as a whole. 

A Soft start-up helps to speak about the certain areas that are continuous conflicts in the relationship. Meredith details a little bit about her relationship with her husband, Jake. She tells how he is actually a pro at this skill. She has learned over the years to appreciate Jake’s soft start-up and approach it with humor, which works for them! She talks about an example of how Jake will practice this skill and how she will approach it herself. She met the situation with a sense of humor instead of responding in a more negative way. Meredith then reveals how it has not always been that way and they have been negative. 

She then explains the need of focusing on “I” statements which make the complaints needed without blaming it on our partners. It allows one to focus on the solutions and facts rather than judging the character of one another. You can use a sense of humor or an open invitation of the complaint (whatever it may be!). Meredith believes that the sense of humor way actually leads to an inside joke and allows a deeper connection!


As always, we are at and you can find us on Facebook or Instagram @HarmonyTherapyGroup and on Twitter @HTGTherapist. Thanks so much for listening and we look forward to you guys next week.



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