Episode 21 - Accepting Influence

Our way of being has completely changed!

This episode was recorded the week after all of the world shut down with all the outbreaks of COVID-19.

Meredith decides to talk about the idea of accepting influence in relationships, marriages, or if you are single and thinking about a relationship. This is one of those things in Gottman’s research where individuals who are masters at marriage do SUPER well with this.

Accepting influence she describes as when one is able to be open-minded to your partner and their perspective. It is essential in conflict because it means more of yielding in order to win; you want the relationship to have the winning outcome.

This idea has so much beneath it! She doesn’t deep dive into all of what is beneath the struggles with participating in accepting influence, but gives a bit of research details about what has been found.

Like many other episodes she dives into an example from her marriage with Jake. She tells how she struggles a bit with accepting influence and sometimes doesn’t see why it is so difficult for her. In contrast, Jake has grown in accepting influence throughout their relationship.

A source of their differing opinions in their marriage is their occupations and how she is self-employed with her own businesses and he works for larger companies. When he offers his opinion about her business, she feels so much push-back within her because of faulty assumptions she makes with their different work experiences.

Enter Covid-19

Jake saw the pandemic coming once it hit overseas and started preparing for it. Meredith tells how she kind of giggled at the fact that he was preparing when it was only in China. Once it became obvious he was absolutely right, this led her to kind of go toward him for advice on when to place clients online, how much she should go out of the house, can she still travel in April, etc. She admits it has been hard to realize how much she needs to rely on his opinion in these times. Meredith reflects on how leaning in to accept his influence actually has become a thing she is very grateful for now.

As always, we are at www.harmonytherapygroup.com/betterwifebetterlife and you can find us on Facebook or Instagram @HarmonyTherapyGroup and on Twitter @HTGTherapist. Thanks so much for listening and we look forward to you guys next week.

Listen to the episode here!